in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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