Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
