If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
