I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just gift wrapped bread.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
