I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He felt like a one man threesome
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
