K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize