Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize