She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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