don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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