Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
