Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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