we have officially lost it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
