I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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