I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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