honey bunches of taint.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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