go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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