I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
