plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
