that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
