Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
