i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
