i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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