Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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