I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
