just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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