there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize