I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
