Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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