I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Send help, water and tortillas.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
PANTIES FOUND
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