I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
