Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
