After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
