READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
not ubering you a puppy
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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