i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
