just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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