quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
