I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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