Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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