Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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