I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
