you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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