cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
