how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
