Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize