Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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