just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
