you would pick up someone in the library
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
