Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
