so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
