I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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