Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
