I'm drive I can fine osifer
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
