its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
