you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
