he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
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