I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
