Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
