You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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