we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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