don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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