She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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