my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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